15. The List

Jack had no dreams or aspirations in life. He did not want to become a doctor, actor, rockstar, stuntman, clown, lawyer, athlete or teacher. He did not want to get married and have children. He wanted only one simple thing and that was to not be bored.

It was a fairly modest aspiration, but even that was out of Jack’s reach.

He was bored.

Downloading illegal videogames, movies and TV shows seemed to keep him busy for a while, but now he felt that his brain has been poisoned with overexposure to mainstream digital entertainment. Just like you get a tummy ache from eating too much cake, he had a similar type of headache.

Unemployment sucked because it meant having less money, but now Jack did not even enjoy the extra free time.

What were his options? He needed to make a mental list. No. An actual list. Those things always seemed to be helpful when he made them at work.

Jack took a piece of paper from the printer and a pen lying next to it and sat by the coffee table. He started writing.

“Things I can do: take a bath, masturbate to porn, go for a walk, go jogging…”

He was about to write “Browse the internet” but changed his mind. Any activity involving looking at a screen was immediately ruled out. Porn was also on the computer, but technically he would have used a magazine if he had one, so he would let that one slide.

Jack came to the depressing realization that creating this list was the most interesting thing he has done in a while, followed by an even more depressing realization that he has ran out of ideas.

That is why some people become serial killers. They become so bored that the only thing they can think of to eliminate their boredom is to eliminate someone.

Jack smiled at the ridiculous thought, but then turned serious when it got stuck in his mind.

He added to the list “kill someone”.

He sat back, holding the list, and reread it.

Of all the things on the list, killing someone sounded the most fun. His heart was thumping madly. Was he really considering it? Going out there and killing someone just for fun? How would he even go about it?

One easy way is to go out to an internet café and hook up with someone on the internet. It would probably be easier to do so with a gay man than with a straight woman, but nowadays you can find all kinds of freaks on Craiglist if you only look. Then go to their place and kill them there using a knife from their kitchen. It has to be done in surprise in case that other guy is stronger than him. Then he can wipe the weapon and anything else he touched before leaving.

It was all very exciting, but for now he decided to go with item number two on the list.

Porn.