“I am Lion, the king of all animals.” Lion said
dismissively. “I do not have the time to talk to silly cups of coffee.”
“That is, king sir, exactly why I am here.” The cup of coffee
said. “Why should you be the king of all animals without holding elections?”
“Ha!” The Lion snorted. “Do you have anyone else in mind?”
The cup of coffee shifted weight uncomfortably, sloshing
coffee around.
“Well, me…”
The Lion froze for a long second and then exploded in laughter.
“Oh my God, that it amazing.” The lion managed to say in
between fits of laughter.
The cup of coffee sulked.
The Lion’s amusement died off, replaced with puzzlement.
“Dude, you’re a fucking cup of coffee. You’re not even an
animal.” The Lion pointed the obvious.
“So what?”
“You’re not even alive! You’re an inanimate object!” The
Lion was getting desperate.
“So?”
The Lion sat down and sighed.
“Well, I am not going to stop being king.” He said. “So
whatever. Your request is denied.”
“I challenge you to a duel.” The cup of coffee said
immediately, as if just waiting for the chance.
“Well, I do not really…” The Lion started saying before the
cup of coffee leaped at him and smacked him in the face.
“You son of a bitch!” The Lion growled and swiped at the cup
of coffee.
The cup of coffee hopped around effortlessly, dancing around
the Lion.
“This is ridiculous!” The Lion’s frustration was becoming
overwhelming.
“It is, but that’s what happens when a writer commits to
write 500 words a day and runs out of ideas.” The cup of coffee said while
smacking the Lion’s head hard, cracking the cup and leaving a nasty bruise on
the Lion.
“Seriously?” The Lion said in disbelief.
While the two were fighting and talking more animals and hot
beverages were gathering around to watch the fight.
“Can’t he write the inner monologue of a lesbian McDonalds fry
cook during World War 2?” The Lion said as he managed to smack the evasive cup
of coffee.
The cup of coffee hit the ground and rolled for a bit,
losing all of its coffee content. It was now just a regular cup.
“That’s a dumb idea.” The cup said bitterly.
“Dumber than a story about a Lion fighting a cup of coffee?!”
The Lion was exasperated.
“Well, in theory a story about a Lion fighting a cup of
coffee is so crazy that it might be entertaining.”
The cup rushed the Lion
again, ready for round two. “In practice it’s fucking awful.”
The Lion had enough. He swiftly moved out of the way and
intercepted the cup with a big slap. The cup shuttered into a million bits.
“It’s indeed awful and must be stopped.” The Lion said. “But
the story has to go on for five hundred words and we are just about done. The
end!”
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