6. Big Break

It felt like a dream. I was so excited and nervous. Mostly nervous about being nervous, which was stupid. I could not let emotions run high and mess it up. This was my big break. For all I knew this was the only break I would ever get.

After minor roles in a few theatre productions and some student movies, I got my first role in a movie. Sure, it was only one line, but it was opposite Brad Fucking Pitt and my character gets shot and dies which is great acting material.

As long as I did not mess it up.

A sensational clip to add to my showreel, looking Brad Pitt right in the eye as I deliver my line: “I have no idea, I only got here.”

I stood in the bathroom for hours last night practicing it, saying it in a million different ways. Most of the attempts were dreadful, but there were a couple of good ones.

And now we were on the set, seconds before starting the first take. The special effects guys rigged me with a vest under my shirt with small explosives and fake blood for my gunshot wounds. The stunt advisor instructed me already how to react, where to fall. Practice was fine, but if I messed up during the actual shoot, the guys would have to rig me up again. I am sure it was a dime in the ocean for the movie’s budget, but wrapping this up in one take would have freed Brad Pitt to do whatever it is super famous movie stars do when lowly green actors do not mess up and keep them around for endless additional takes. Probably adopt more foreign babies.

I did not dare to talk to Brad, but we nodded at each other. I was nervous enough without working out the nerve for small talk with him.

Then the director said “action.”

Brad walked in and talked to me. I delivered my line perfectly. I was very pleased with myself. Then bang, bang, bang. I flew back, folding down to the ground like a ragdoll. I knew the scene was over, but I was lying still with my eyes closed waiting for the director to shout cut.

Then it happened: I farted loudly.

A second of silence and then everyone burst out laughing. I opened my eyes, smiling. I was embarrassed beyond words, but I had to play it cool. I was trying hard to make my smile stop twitching so much.

“Cut.” The director said with a smile, then added: “The cheese.”

Everyone laughed even harder. I looked straight at Brad Pitt who looked me straight in the eyes and laughed. No one was being mean about it, it was funny, but I just wanted to bury myself.

The scene ended up not being included in the final cut, but my fart and the director’s witty quip were included in the deleted scenes. That was my big break.

My big wind-break.