23. Roger the T-Rex

Once upon a time there was a big T-Rex called Roger. Roger was happy just being a stupid dinosaur that would eat other dinosaurs and then poop them on their own carcass. Back then he was not known as Roger because dinosaurs do not really tend to name their young or themselves. When you cannot speak or write, there is not really any point in doing that, is there?

One day Roger chased a small dinosaur, tripped and fell into a hole in time and space that existed for only a few seconds before closing forever. Roger was flung millions of years into the future and found himself floating in the middle of the air at a chemical factory in the year 2031. Roger fell into a big radioactive acid pool.

The acid did several things: it made Roger smaller, about the size of a human. It made Roger’s skin transparent so you could see his bones and body part. It made Roger smarter and able to talk English and Swahili.

It took Roger a while to get used to the new world and his new self. He started wearing loose clothes and sunglasses to look cool. He befriended a young homeless twelve year old kid and they started hanging out together and solve small crimes in the neighborhood.

Rumors started to spread about the transparent, man-sized, intelligent T-Rex which got the attention of government agents. They came at night to the small street corner where Roger and the kid slept and tried to capture Roger. The kid tried to save Roger so the agents shot him in the head. That made Roger flip out and he discovered that the acid also gave him ninja abilities. He kicked and punched all the agents and bit the head off the leader.

Roger was very sad that the kid died, but decided not to let the delicious tender young flesh to waste. The kid was yummy.

Roger had to escape the city and hide in a cabin in the woods, worried that more agents will come after him. He did not realize that before the leader of the agents died he managed to stick a tracking device under Roger’s skin.

One night the military arrived out of nowhere with big numbers. Roger was surrounded by hundreds of soldiers, tanks, and helicopters. Even his ninja powers were not a match. He decided that he would rather die than be captured and experimented on. He ran out and started fighting like crazy.

Roger lost his mind for a minute, tearing flesh and metal with explosions all around him. When the dust settled Roger realized the acid also gave him super strength and invulnerability. It was so awesome. Everyone around him was dead and he had enough yummy flesh to last him for a long time.

Then suddenly another hole in time and space appeared. Roger fell back into the past and all the effects of the radioactive were lost. He could not remember anything.