20. Facebook Love

Hi there. Sorry for writing to you out of the blue like that, I just saw you on the friends list of one of my friends and I thought you were very pretty. That friend name is Joe. Do you know Joe? I don’t. I just added him through the Farmville group because my real life friends don’t play Farmville and I needed more people to send me stuff.

Anyway, you are really gorgeous. I didn’t use to believe at love at first sight, but when I saw your picture I just literally stopped breathing for a few seconds. Fortunately your profile is quite public and I got to know you a little better and find out that I love everything about you, not just your looks.

We love the same TV shows and I also play World of Warcraft.

How about we go out? We can meet in the restaurant so it’s not like it’s going to be dangerous or anything. It’s crazy, I’ve never done that before, but once I found out we also live in the same city it was just too much. I just had to reach out to you.

Worst case scenario, you’ll reply to me with a fuck off. It will crush me, but I’ll get over it and move on. If I don’t reach out to you, though, I will wonder “What If” for the rest of my life.

I’m not proposing to marry you (yet, lol), just go out for a quick bite and talk. See if there’s chemistry in real life. If it doesn’t work out, too bad, but maybe we’d want to meet again.

I just reread everything I wrote and almost just closed the window and erased all of it. It’s crazy, but you know what? Fuck crazy. You live only once and I feel so strongly about this I should just go for it.

Don’t worry that I am nuts. All this talk about feeling strongly might make you think I’m some obsessed psycho, but I’m not. I’m a regular guy, but there’s just something that makes my heart skip a beat. So don’t blame me, blame your parents for having such a stunning girl.

It’s more than just stunning, there are tons of gorgeous super models out there. There is something interesting about your features. Your eyes are telling a story. Your mouth, your ears. I wish I was better with words so I could explain this better.

So what do you think? I advise you not to reply right away. Think about. Let it sink in. I know it’s unusual, but isn’t that what we’re looking for in life? Something unusual? Isn't that what most people yearn for their entire lives and never get? Isn’t it worth to take that risk? What’s the worst that can happen?

Well, I might turn out to be a psycho who would chop you up into bits and bite into your warm, beating heart.

Just kidding, you fat ugly cow.